Becoming a Family

Many people are having more and more difficulty conceiving and carrying their baby to full term. The term miscarriage has become something that is so common and expected in our day that most families keep secret the joy of finding out they are expecting a baby until the first trimester is over to ensure that they do not have to endure the difficulty and awkwardness of later explaining what happened.  Many mothers live with the fear of being unable to host their fetus for those first few delicate months when their baby is developing and forming. They are busy working jobs, being busy, enduring stress and tension all of which do not aid in this life giving adventure that they so long to enjoy.

Many women have the secret pain of already having gone through a miscarriage once or more times and not being able to deal with it properly as society has downgraded their loss to nothing more than a blip in the period cycle and not a real emotional, physical, spiritual trauma that stays with both mother and father.  They have lost a child. Not a fetus, not a lump of tissue but a potential member of their family, maybe a boy  or a girl, but definitely a baby that they wanted to become.  For those that have experienced this it is real and having another baby doesn’t make the loss just go away. It is always there no mater what trimester or week in the pregnancy the loss occurred, it can still be quite painful.

We need to recognize and begin to treat perinatal and infant loss as a real area of bereavement that can hinder couples, women and families in their future if not handled correctly. The grief is real and when denied or skipped over to acceptance too early can impede the healthy process of learning how to deal with loss. Health Caregivers in the community need to recognize this untreated area and begin to have more dialogue on how we can help to bring this matter to the forefront. The time for change has come.

We need to give a voice to those that may never be born into this world but have already been born into a family’s heart. Lets light a candle and remember them.


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